Turn Back Time, Into The Darkness

A few days ago, I had another dream of dreams within dreams. I had a dream about a mad physician, of me facing a wall, an old man showering in front of a mirror, the clock running backwards, and everything turning dark.

In the first dream, we were having our annual physical exam and I was standing in a line with other colleagues when I overheard the physician angrily giving a sermon to the person he was checking. It didn’t make any sense but I thought, “Good thing I had an appointment with the dentist before this.” And then I woke up.

In the second dream, I woke up from the long line for the physical exam and found myself driving a car. I drove the car into what seems to be an industrial warehouse and parked between a big truck and a wall. To my left is the truck, to my right is the wall, and to the front is another wall. I got out of the car and observed the wall in front of me. And then I woke up.

In the third dream, I woke up from observing a wall in front of me. Now, I am watching an old man shower in front of a mirror. He has the typical Santa-like body. Big belly, the top of his head is balding but he has a few graying and white hairs in the sides, and he has a beard with the same color combination as his hair. He was shampooing his hair from the sides to the top. But there is no water, no shampoo, not even a shower head. He stopped for a while and walked backwards to the right of my view and up to the stairs. As he passed, I heard a clock ticking. I saw a wall clock that looks like some lucky cat Chinese decoration. Its hands were moving backwards. And it made sense to me that time that “Oh, so that’s why he’s moving backwards.” And then I woke up.

In the fourth dream, I woke up from seeing the cat-like clock, of time moving backwards. This time I found myself lying on the sofa where I really fell asleep on that time. I stood up, as if waking up, and turned the lights on. The lights didn’t turn on and when I looked around, all the rooms were dark. I walked towards the balcony to see the other buildings and found residential buildings that weren’t there before. The doors and windows were dark when it was still a pretty bright afternoon. I’m guessing the bright orange sky you get just before sunset. And then I woke up.

In the fifth dream, I found myself lying on the sofa again. I grabbed my phone and I actually felt I was holding it. Thinking that I was awake, I looked at my phone and it wasn’t there. I was holding something rectangular that wasn’t there.

In the sixth dream, I found myself lying on the sofa again. This time, I am very unsure if I had really woken up. I’m very aware that I’m dreaming but I couldn’t wake up. I was in another sleep paralysis. I clenched my fists and did everything I can to wake up. When I finally did, it took me a while to believe that I wasn’t dreaming anymore. I put on clothes and went outside.

I like to think that this is my subconscious telling me something but I am more likely to believe that these dreams are combinations of things I’ve seen before. I try not to make much sense about it but wouldn’t it be cool if it did mean something?

Turn Back Time, Into The Darkness

Nested Dreams

I’ve been dreaming a lot about an open door lately. As far as I can remember, it started a few months ago. The dream is simple and yet it feels like a nightmare. In the dream, I would wake, walk towards the living room, and find the door to the hallway open. There is nothing special on the other side of the door. All I can see is the hallway, the same view I see when I’m “not dreaming”. I live in a condominium unit on the 45th floor. Anyone can understand why an opened door can be alarming but compared to all my other dreams, this particular dream about an open door is the dullest and it occurred several times before. And yet it still terrifies me every single time it happens.

Last May 22, 2017 at around 4 AM in the morning, I “woke up”. I say I “woke up” because I’m not really sure anymore if I’m still dreaming. The seemingly endless set of dreams occurred to me again. This time, not a friend knocking on my door, but the same damn open door. As if it was not enough to have one set of this dream occur to me several times on different nights.

In the first set of the dream, I woke up in my bed and as I was about to walk outside the bedroom, I found the front door open. Strangers came in to attack. Surprised, I looked around me and there were a few people around me who I believe are my allies. I heard gunshots as I ran towards the balcony. The two groups were fighting each other. The first group was trying to attack me while the other group was trying to protect me. One of the attackers went as far as the door towards the balcony while one character was trying to shield me. The character, I believe, is a man and I do not know what he looks like. Cornered, I jumped off the balcony and tried to hold on to the rails at the bottom so the attacker would not see or harm me. The character who was protecting me shot the attacker while I look down, still holding on to the rails, seeing how far I would fall if I let go. The dream ends there and then I woke up.

In the second set of the dream, the first set was nothing but a dream. More realistic, I woke up alone in my dark room and noticed the shadow of an intruder. Again, the door was open. I recognized the intruder. She was a short lesbian with short hair and in an orange uniform. I went to the fast food chain to confront the manager about her crew. Surreal, she said, “She’s from the province. It’s her first time in the city and she thinks people living in condominiums are rich so she decided to rob them.” I do not recognize these people in real life. The dream ends and then I woke up.

In the third set of the dream, the second set was nothing but a dream. Even more realistic, I woke up alone in my dark room and the door was open. Still hung up on my second dream, I panicked and ran into the hallway. I screamed and went back to my unit. I looked around to see if anything was missing. Nothing was missing. The room felt bigger instead. Confused, I tried to wake myself up and confirm that I’m only dreaming. I sat down on the floor hugging my legs with my head buried between my knees and clenched my fists as hard as I can. The dream ends and then I woke up.

If I’m awake now, I can never tell.

Nested Dreams