Despite all the chaos in your life, have you ever felt like you have an unknown and yet very important purpose? You have this drive that seems to destroy anything and anyone that attempts to stop you. Situations that were supposed to make you cave. A life that could paralyze most people for years. A past that others find difficult to recover from. All of it seem so easy. All your decisions seem justified. Everything seems to fall into place. Anything seems possible.
Have you ever thought that maybe you’re the main character or the hero of this game? That everything is supposed to work out for you. That everyone else will die only once while you get extra lives. Have you ever felt so invincible, as if no one could ever harm you? But then you thought that’s very naive. So you live life carefully. You tame down the insanity. You accomplish great things while being aware that it’s not half as great as you could have done if you just followed your instincts.
Doubt is a friend. It keeps your feet on the ground. It tames your enthusiasm to avoid reckless decisions and great disappointment. There are days when you wonder if all of these are true. Should you trust that the sky is opening up for you? Should you fly into the clouds or should you anticipate a storm? I anticipated a storm and I turned out to be right. But instead of being sad about the storm, I looked out the window and adored how the buildings disappeared into a white canvas. I thought to myself, “This canvas is for me and now I can paint it however I want.”
I asked myself, “When I look outside my window once again, what do I want to see?”