5PM: A Lonely Life of Purpose


This is what 5PM looks like from the balcony just outside my bedroom. It’s a lot brighter in person. Most days it seems like a norm. I go to work and I go to the balcony just to water the plants. I’m planting lavender, mint, and tomato. The tomato plant stands tall but the leaves keep drying up. This view looks even better at night when the sun doesn’t hurt my eyes and the city lights make everything look like a pixelated dream.

Times like this occur at least once every two weeks. Once every two weeks, I look at the buildings from my bedroom window. This is where I live. This is where I sleep. And when I step outside into the balcony, I see the sky. In the morning, it’s as blue as the ocean. Before night, it’s a cozy mix of purple and orange. I love those colors. I rarely see the sunset because of my work schedule but there was a time when I was lucky enough to see the sun so red. Some people would love to have a life like this.

Every once in a while, I take time to appreciate what I have. I am aware of my tendency to neglect things that I already have but not because I’m not grateful to have them. I’m just so focused on the future. The future I want to make for myself. The vision itself gives me the feeling that I belong somewhere else and I shouldn’t be attached to anything I find here. It’s a lonely life of purpose but it’s something I feel that I have to do.

5PM: A Lonely Life of Purpose

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